Monday, November 14, 2011

Cougars, Lions and Tigers. Oh My!

So I’m reading this in the news, “Cougar J Lo is reportedly dating 24-year old, Casper Smart.” God, I love this town.  Let’s forget about the fact that somebody actually named their son Casper.  Let’s focus on that this is probably the only place in the world outside of prison where you can date someone 20 years younger than you and nobody cares. 

George Clooney is 50 years old, his girlfriend Stacy Keibler, 32.   Katie Couric, that wholesome 54 year old TV news correspondent? She’s slamming some dude 17 years younger.  Film director Roman Polanski was 43 when he hooked up with 13 year old… well, never mind.  You get my point.

Some people do make a big deal of it, and I don’t get it. Hollywood is a really hard town to meet people.  It must be even harder when you’re a celebrity and everyone knows who you are.  You think George Clooney is on He is!  I saw his profile. This is what it says:

“Hi, I’m an actor.  I like long walks on the beach, sushi and Nickelback.  Oh yeah, I was voted People Magazine’s Sexiest Man alive 12 X’s and am worth 200 million dollars.”

Pretty much all my single friends (both girl and guys) gripe about finding love in L.A. and it’s fair to say that both sexes think that the other gender is insane. Girls think men are pigs, guys think girls are drama queens. Both are correct.  In fact, I would never date a transgender person because they are probably lunatics. 

So I think if you do meet someone who is from a different generation but you connect with their personality or you feel a deep attraction for their wallet/purse, you should definitely go for it. 

Me personally, I don’t date anyone under 25.  Not because I don't like younger girls, but I can’t fake talking about Justin Beiber for more than 60 minutes at TGI Fridays. *Editors note - If it was 3 years ago and you were Asian, I would give you more leeway, but I grew out of that phase.

So next time you want to date someone who is vastly different in age, but you’re afraid of what people will think.  Well, it’s that or you’re the weird guy/girl who lives alone with your cats. You decide.  I’m picking Jlo. Unless I named my cat Jlo which would make it extra creepy.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

In Time... For What?

I just saw the movie “In Time” with Justin Timberlake.  Yes, I saw the 2pm show on a Tuesday with four other people in the theater.  (Yes, this is my life.  Check my tumblr page at if you really want to get scared) 

I’m not here to review the movie, but the gist of it is that everybody has a counter on their arm, and life is slipping away.  In this fantasy world, time is literally money.  So rich people can live forever and buy more time while poor people face an early death. 

I’ve got to stop watching high-concept movies that deal with time.  For some reason, they make me over analyze my life purpose, and I’m not sure if that's good or bad.

(Remember, Adam Sandler’s “Click?” Where the guy has a remote control and can fast forward time?  I couldn’t sleep for like three days. Seriously!)

What does this tell me?  I have problems and should seek therapy.  But it also makes me aware that we have a finite amount of time on Earth.  In my opinion, most of humanity has numbed their minds and slog through life using various coping mechanisms: alcohol, career, family.

I used to think Hollywood was the anti-thesis to this.  After all, it’s the land where people risk everything in pursuit of their dreams.  And then I look around and see my ego-driven acquaintances who would push their grandmother in front of a moving truck for under five lines on "How I Met Your Mother."  I want to shake these people and yell, "Is this what you really want?!"  

I, myself, am the worst because I am driven to not lose. So I spend inordinate amounts of time doing things I have no interest in.  It's like being trapped in a Reality TV show where the contest challenges keep coming, each one larger and more insane than the last. 

My point to all this is that I think everybody can benefit by sitting down for a few minutes and trying to find some objective.  It's a simple thing to do, and I'm not sure if people take the TIME to do this.  (I'm never using this word again) I’ve been lucky to meet some great people who have: comedians, teachers, doctors.  There is this guy who uses a leaf blower outside my apartment every Friday morning.  He's always smiling. I think he may be high, but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's found something that he likes to do.

I think that’s the difference between people that live happily and do meaningful things vs. people who watch Justin Timberlake movies in the middle of the day. 

I'm going to go watch Captain America now.